"F" is for "Forgive"

I have talked about A Course in Miracles on my blog . . . I credit that program with being a large part of the incredible healing I experienced when my life fell apart.  When Renfrew looked at me and told me he wanted out of our marriage (a marriage we had both sworn would be FOREVER), I was hurt but above all I was ANGRY.  I herded us into almost 2 years of therapy and counseling.  I did everything humanly imaginable to try to *fix* it.  Yeah . . . right . . . what I should have done was work on healing myself.

Anyway, the biggest thing I finally GOT from my study of ACIM was the absolute requirement for forgiveness as the only real path to inner peace and happiness.  The Course is a series of 365 self-study lessons that help retrain the mind away from fear and toward love.  It isn't a religion -- people who study it come from every religion and no religion.  It costs NOTHING to study -- it is available free on-line here.

I will not say that forgiveness came easily.  I felt betrayed and angry.  The man who had repeatedly told me that NOTHING would change his love for me had pulled the escape hatch.  Slowly . . . and I mean SLOWLY. . . over the next several years I asked God/the Universe to bless Renfrew and give him happiness.  I asked that the WILL of the Universe be shown to me.  And it was . . . one day I woke up . . . I woke up and realized that the end of our marriage wasn't about ME.  It was about both of us growing.

People who know me have heard me say that the divorce was the best thing that happened for our relationship.  Our marriage had changed from one where we put each other first to one where we had both lost sight of ourselves to the point where we didn't even see each other.

Forgiveness has freed me from the anger and pain.  Try it . . . all you need is to be willing to forgive. .. turn it over to whatever higher power you believe in and let him/her/it take it from there.  Here is a link to one of lessons on forgiveness offered by ACIM. . .    Lesson 46.