Saturday, June 27, 2015

Welcome to the 21st Century Americans . . .

Note:  if you want my references, click on the links . . . ;)

First, to all my American family and friends who are becoming apoplectic about the US Supreme Court's ruling and some of whom may have to make good on their promise to move out of the US:  Do NOT come to Canada -- you will be sadly disappointed.  Not only have we allowed ALL loving couples to marry since 2005, you will not be able to bring your guns across the 49th.  I do have a few suggestions where you might consider seeking asylum:  Russia, most of the African countries and pretty much all Muslim nations (see this handy list).  So start packing. . .

Second, to all my friends spouting off about 'traditional' marriage, please revisit your history lessons and please figure out which 'traditional' marriage you are talking about. If it is Christian marriage, you might find that YOUR marriage is NOT a traditional Christian marriage.

Christianity in its purest form, as established by Christ's disciples demanded that members be unmarried and celibate.  Really.  I kid you not.  NO marriage because it would detract from a follower's devotion to God.  Besides, the Rapture was just around the corner anyway, so true believers needed to chaste, holy and totally devoted to God.  I'm pretty sure you can guess what happened.  Hormones and attraction.  Once They (being the religious leaders) figured out they could not stop LOVE between people, they co-oped marriage.  (see here)

Let's move a bit further ahead in time and marriage became an economic transaction.  Daughters were essentially material to barter with . . . for land, for power, for other assets.  Or they were burdens to be augmented with dowries so that some other family would take them off your hands and assume ownership and responsibility for them.  Face it, if you were female you were a piece of property.  It was 1929 when the Canadian Supreme Court (yup another team of "Supremes") held that, yes, indeed women were  PERSONS.

Marriage was also traditionally for life.  No divorce . . .ever . . . no matter what.  Until 1968 it took an act of Parliament to get divorced in Canada.  This, for those of you unfamiliar with Canadian government, the body that governs the whole freakin' country.

So, if you want to do that 'traditional' marriage thing remember:  if you or your spouse were married before, well, your marriage is NOT traditional.

If your marriage was not bartered for or arranged by your Father, it is NOT traditional.

For my female friends, if you did not let your Father select your spouse or if you do not follow your spouse's every order, it is NOT traditional.

Oh, and for my LDS friends, how many sister wives do you have?  Mormon marriage, the really 'traditional' one, the one that started with the Church was polygamous in nature.  My great grandfathers had multiple wives and, if you are more than 3rd generation, yours probably did too.  If you are from Southern Alberta, the odds on favourite is that you are a descendant of a second wife.  Cardston and the surrounding communities were founded right around the time of the Manifesto, which reads:   "And I now publicly declare that my advice to the Latter-Day Saints is to refrain from contracting any marriage that is forbidden by the law of the land."  This does NOT say that polygamy is wrong or bad.  It says:  "Don't do it if you are going to end up in jail."  So really, the change in marriage laws is a most excellent thing for the devout . . . your first sister wife could be just around the corner should the law change so that multiple spouses are okay (and I would bet Winston Blackmore will be taking THAT question to the Supreme Court [the Canadian one] in the not too distant future).  So the Church doctrine that makes polygamy is necessary in the great afterlife . . . the one that comes after, as Brother Jake calls it, the Super Special Mormon Heaven, may soon be back in vogue.

Oh, oh, but you say:  Traditional marriage has changed with the times.  We pick our own spouses.  We make decisions together as a couple.  For the LDS, we don't have multiple wives - - our leaders got updates from God.  Do you see what you just did there?  You changed the rules on marriage!!!!

And Guess whatelse???  Your definition of marriage is not TRADITIONAL.  It was changed.  By the society where it was practiced.  Just like 'marriage' has now been redefined by the US Supreme Court.

So suck it up, sweetheart, and unless you want to move to a place where (if you are female) you'll be wearing a burka (which, BTW, is really just temple garments worn outside the clothes) and not going anywhere without a man beside you, just accept that ONE faith, religion or cultural tradition does not get to define marriage for the rest of the world.

Monday, February 23, 2015

Things I want my Daughter to Know and Remember

I'd like to say this is an original idea, but I saw it on a friend's Facebook feed and decided it was a great idea.  The following are random things I want the Pumpkin to know.  I started out planning to do 100, but I wanted the post to hit the blog before the next millenium.  Some of them I learned from other people and I will give them the credit.
  1. Remember that other people's bad behaviour/attitude is always more about them than it is about you; conversely, if you find yourself being less than kind to another person, look inside yourself for the reason why.
  2. When the choice is laugh or cry, laugh in public; cry in private. 
  3. When you remember other people, think of them at their BEST not their worst.
  4. Wear comfortable shoes.
  5. And Sunscreen.
  6. "Of all the kids in the whole entire Universe, I got the very BEST one."  Never forget that. [Renfrew and I began telling her this at bedtime when she was about 2 -- I heard Dr. Phil McGraw say he and his wife did the same thing with their sons.  I LOVED the idea - - and it is true.]
  7. Feed the cats.
  8. Watching your enthusiasm for Cosplay (not to mention your incredible talent) brings me JOY -- you are so much YOURSELF when you are creating ways to be someone (or something) else.  It's magic.
  9. My favourite Christmas memory is you hanging up the 'Santa Key' and tossing the 'Reindeer Food' out on the deck from High Prairie when you were 5 or 6.
  10. Do not have children until you could support them on your own if you had to do so. [So sayth my Mom aka Grandma Thu.]
  11. Always, always, always have a Plan "B" -- for anything you do and for your life in general. [Ted King - my high school French teacher.]
  12. Trust your gut.
  13. Take risks . . . if you fall, I will help you get up.
  14. Don't be afraid to take a 'do-over'.  I've started over many, many times.
  15. Every Dandelion you see is a "I Love You" from your Thu.
  16. Snowtires -- get them.  Do NOT take them off your car until after Mother's Day.
  17. Dreams are free.
  18. Good friends are the reward we get for being a good friend.  I know you are a friend worth gold because I see it reflected in the friends you keep close to you.
  19. Yes, your Dad is paranoid and sees boogie men around every corner . . . but only because he loves you.
  20. YOU are well on your way to slaying any boogie man who makes it past your dad.
  21. Get to know our family - - yes, we are crazy and hard to take in large groups (I realize that I grew up with the large groups. . . as an only child who lived far from family for a big part of your childhood, you did not so I GET why they are discomfiting.) but one-on-one every single person has a story that is part of yours.
  22. Life is a journey . . . take the scenic route.
  23. Never give anyone else the power to control your happiness and sense of worth.  KNOW in your bones that both of these things are YOURS and yours alone.  
  24. Shoot for the stars, if you fall a bit short there are plenty of planets and moons worth exploring.
Today is my girl-child's 17th birthday.  She is more amazing than I imagined when I held all 6 pounds 11 ounces of her in my arms that first night at the hospital.  The time has flown . . . but what lies ahead for her . . . well I can hardly wait to see where life takes her and what she discovers about not only the world, but about herself.  (February 23, 2015)